3 Books That Will Change Your Life and Words of Wisdom on My 28th

By Kyle Milligan / November 12, 2016

Do you ever feel older? I don’t think one ever feels like they’ve matured fully. Do you feel like you have all the answers to the questions you had just a couple years ago? Me neither. Today is my birthday. I’m turning 28. Looking at photos I can see I’m older. My features are rougher. My attitude more cavalier. “Adults” can’t tell me to fall in line anymore. No boss has influence over my priorities. I can look back and safely say I have matured in some areas, and I’d like to share some books that will change your life and words of wisdom that I picked up during my 28 years alive.

Lessons Learned and 3 Books That Will Change Your Life

Be selfish – No More Mr Nice Guy

One of the most influential books on my life is No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr Robert A Glover. I read this after a terrible breakup (the breakup that inspired my first novel, Hang-Ups and Hangovers) when I was trying to figure out “what’s wrong with me?” I couldn’t figure out why I was so unlovable. Why I was so argumentative with my last girlfriend. Why, no matter how hard I tried to please her, no matter how much I dedicated myself to her, she never respected or appreciated me.

No More Mr Nice Guy Robert A Glover all99life.com

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No More Mr. Nice Guy gave me the answers to those critical life questions. It taught me why being selfish is the best thing for a relationship.

Essentially, when you sacrifice yourself and your life for your partner, they will resent you, and you them. Being selfish, (not a dick) by taking time to do things you enjoy, alone, is the best thing to create a healthy relationship for both people involved.

A clingy person creates contempt because the clingy person often expects unreasonable returns for their affection (that aren’t delivered), while the other person resents these expectations. Learning to be selfish was one of the most critical lessons of my life. No More Mr Nice Guy improved every facet of my life, and I think it’s one of those books that will change your life.

Smile when you’re angry – The Way of the Superior Man

What a stupid thing to say! How can I smile if I’m angry!? I learned this in The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. This was also one of the books I read when I was soul searching after my breakup. I couldn’t understand how everything got under my skin. Why I was so sensitive. Why me and my girlfriend fought so much. It was simple: I let things get under my skin and elevate my emotions.

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Generally, when our mood is elevated to rage, it is because of someONE. SomeONE did something to offend me. SomeONE is not seeing reason. SomeONE is not agreeing with me. It’s a person. And when you get mad, you have let that person influence you.

While the book is titled Way of the Superior Man, I think this is a valuable lesson for men and women. It is especially important during this turbulent political time, when people want to kill one another for not agreeing with their positions. Disagree on just one issue and the labels, insults, and hell-fire rage rain down on you.

Instead of elevating your emotions with that angry person, just smile. That person is way out of control of their emotions. That person is driven by their knee-jerk reactions to news headlines, outrage, and scandal. That person is a sheep. Pity them. The Way of the Superior Man changed the way I engage everyone.

Getting in shape is actually easy. Like really, really easy – Bigger Leaner Stronger

I assume people who let their body go to shit simply lack the discipline to fix it. I say this because there are resources everywhere for improving your physique. (Read how you can quickly and easily slim down in just ELEVEN days).

As far as improving your physique goes, I can’t recommend Bigger Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews enough. It’s a simple book. Totally straight forward. It tells you exactly how to eat and lift. All you have to do is spend a couple dollars and read it. It took me a week to read, and now I know how to look good for the rest of my life. If you can’t make that tiny investment (in YOURSELF, no less), you shouldn’t complain about your love handles. Period.

Bigger Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews

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Bigger Leaner Stronger breaks down nutrition and strength training into easy-to-use numbers that can be adapted to any individual person. The diet comes down to basic math. If you can do basic arithmetic, you can get abs. The lifts are really easy to learn because it’s only a handful of compound lifts. Mike teaches how to properly execute lifts with pictures as well. Reading Bigger Leaner Stronger changed the way my body will look forever.

Here are a few more Books That Will Change Your Life

General Words of Wisdom

The timing is NEVER right

Whenever there is something dangling just out of reach, that you wish you could just go after if only the timing were right, chances are the timing is as good as it will ever get. EVER. When I quit my job, I didn’t have a plan. The timing wasn’t “ideal.” I hadn’t saved up a bunch of money. I just knew I wanted to quit, so I quit.

When you say “the timing isn’t right,” it boils down to a matter of priorities.

“I would chase this dream if I didn’t worry I might lose my car. Once I pay this car off, I’m going after it for sure.”
“I would go to the gym if only daycare for my kids wasn’t so expensive. Once I make more money, I’ll go for sure.”
“I would pursue this relationship with my new interest, but I’m trying to ‘work things out’ with my old significant other and I should really give that a shot first.”

  1. If the car is more important than your dream, you don’t deserve your dream.
  2. If you can’t find a way to cut costs or if you can’t pursue creative ways to make money, then you don’t want that thing badly enough. Your kids don’t need new iPads. You don’t need expensive cable TV. You don’t need both Hulu AND Netflix. Half the stuff you already have, even the free stuff, costs you money. Get rid of excess stuff.
  3. If you have to “work things out,” with someone, you are probably delaying the inevitable. I’ve found that almost everybody is clinging to a person they frankly aren’t compatible with. There are a zillion-ish people in the world. The person you are putting off may not wait forever while you figure out your current relationship will not work. Don’t lose both relationships over “timing.”

Your appearance MATTERS

Your appearance matters. Stereotypes exist. No amount of whining about social justice is going to eliminate subconscious imprints on people’s psyche. Don’t try to guilt or shame people for biological impulses. Stupid.

It is a CHOICE (an idiotic choice) to ignore stereotypes and then cry you’re a victim to them. But if you pull your head out of your ass and accept stereotypes as existing (NOT accepting that they are morally right or wrong, just acknowledge they exist), then you are equipped to manipulate them for your benefit.

Don’t let stereotypes work against you. For instance, unless he is a celebrity, I assume any super-thin dude wearing a fedora and skinny-jeans is not familiar with vaginas. Sue me. Most girls probably see that too. The hot ones, at least. The point is, this is a super easy to avoid pitfall. Don’t set yourself up to be a negative stereotype. Dress nice. Wear clothes that fit. Drop $10 on a tailor.

Lame douche in a fedora gets zero pussy

“Away, creep! You probably cry over sunsets!”

Present yourself like someone who has their shit together, and you shall be treated as someone who has their shit together. Present yourself like a slob, people will treat you like a slob. Regardless of the constitution, your religious beliefs, or whatever, you are NOT entitled to equal treatment and respect by others. There’s this thing called free will. You can either nut up and take some personal accountability for how others treat you, or you can be a whiny little bitch who cries things aren’t fair.

Things aren’t fair

Things aren’t fair, but that’s a good thing. When things aren’t fair, that means there’s an advantage to be gained somewhere. Like with your appearance, you can take advantage of these imbalances to bolster your position relative to others.

I recently wrote an article explaining how the working person is totally getting fucked for earning ordinary income. It isn’t fair. You go to work, make your wage, then you lose a ton of it to taxes so that other people can live on entitlements and enjoy their social security benefits. The harder you work, the more you make, the more the government takes. What isn’t fair is that the owners of your company don’t see an increase in taxes until their income hits about $400,000.

You can choose to complain about this imbalance (complaining gets you nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING!) or you can recognize the advantaged side, learn about it, and mimic it. i.e. You can become a sole proprietor and claim unique tax breaks. I decided to go the royalties route with Hang-Ups and Hangovers and Redheads and Bedspreads.

Hang-Ups and Hangovers New Adult Books Kyle MilliganPrice and Reviews

This is just one example. Remember there are always two sides to every coin. If you think something is unfair, find out who is winning the deal that you are losing on and do what they’re doing instead. That’s how you get ahead.

Be happy things are unfair. If everything was fair we’d all be fucked equally.

Everyone needs a safe space

The term “safe space” has become satire in our political climate. To think everyone is entitled to live in a safe space is ridiculous. I do think everyone needs a “safe space,” though, and they should utilize it appropriately.

A safe space is simply a place a person can operate in without judgment. For me, that is a very small circle of guys I’ve known since 3rd grade. I can go to them with any insecurity, any trouble, any stupid fucked up thing I may have done or said, and not be concerned they will think I’m a terrible person. I need that safe space. Everyone needs something like that.

The Internet / social media is NOT your safe space

With the last point made: YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO A SAFE SPACE ON THE INTERNET. Don’t bring your whiny, bitch-ass problems to the public. Don’t air out your family’s dirty laundry. Don’t confess all your skeletons to strangers, stupid.

Especially don’t do any of that and then be upset when someone has something negative to say. The internet is NOT your safe space. Do not try to stifle people’s opinions on the internet because they hurt your feels, you will just bring more hurt on yourself. You are entitled to an opinion, but you are NOT entitled to have everyone agree with it. In short, don’t be a little bitch.

Wrapping Up Books That Will Change Your Life and Words of Wisdom on My 28th

There’s plenty I’ve learned in 28 years, but I think the lessons learned and books mentioned in this post are some of the most pertinent. I truly do believe these books will change your life. If you read the books and abide the words of wisdom, they will elevate you light years ahead of “most people.”

It is my birthday. As your gift to me you could scoop up one of my books! Much love in advance. 

About the author

Kyle Milligan

I'm Kyle Milligan. I really enjoy writing. I wrote a couple novels (The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series) and now I blog frequently on a bunch of different websites. I also enjoy lifting heavy things and and writing about it.

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